Issac Newton: Chickens at rest tend to stay at rest, chickens in motion tend to cross roads.
Darwin: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically dispositioned to cross roads.
Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
Heisenberg: Because the chicken is moving very fast, you can either observe the chicken or you can measure its speed, but you cannot do both.
Jean Foucault: It didn’t. The rotation of the earth made it appear to cross.
Galileo: To get a better look at the stars.
Ohm: There was more resistance on this side of the road.
Pascal: It was pressured to cross the road.
Volta: The other side had more potential.
Hawking: There exist numerous parallel universes in which the same chicken is in differing stages of crossing the road. Only when one of the chickens has completed crossing the road do their ave functions coallesce.
Grandpa: In our days, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken had crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.